It is generally true that women are about 15 years ahead of men in terms of their psycho-emotional-spiritual development. Most men are just not well-equipped to deal with the depth and complexity of women. Experts like David Deida, teacher of the yoga of intimacy, say that “most men are just plain clueless about women and relationship”. Many powerful women are often disappointed that they are not able to attract men who are evolved enough to keep their attention for more than 2 dates.
Men need help raising their consciousness. We teach sacred sexuality to both men and women. We love it when we see just as many men show up for a sacred sexuality weekend as women. It is a good thing men want to love and be loved, and we know that this is a way to draw men into doing their inner work, because most men love sex.
It is interesting to explore why people continue to make the masculine the problem on this planet. There have been good reasons for this. Two to five thousand years of Patriarchy with a capital “P” probably account for our negative attitudes toward the masculine. If you are reading this article, we don’t need to fill you in about what has been done to women, children, animals, and to the planet in recent history. What about the effects of patriarchy on men?
The patriarchal system has brought us non-stop war where mostly young men have been the sacrifice. Men are expected to simply march off to their deaths to “serve their country” or some “noble cause”, and are pumped up with some macho notion of glory and honor. Patriarchy has brought men the privilege of shutting down their emotional bodies so that they can fight, kill, work, and die at jobs they hate, to defend and provide for their families, to “be the man”. Patriarchy has also brought us circumcision, a ghastly first rite of passage that violates little baby boys right out of the womb. We seldom examine what men have endured to become society’s version of men: achievement-driven slaves to ego-imposed values. By not really looking at these abuses of men, perhaps women find it easier to keep blaming men for their abuses. Doesn’t this keep the cycle of abuse going?
There is no doubt that Women have had their share of injustices. We are lovers of the Goddess, our current favorite being Mary Magdalene. Talk about a maligned woman! Magdalene was redeemed years ago by Pope John Paul who finally declared that she was NOT a whore, but was branded so by an earlier Catholic regime. However, the image has stuck with her and it has not been till the DaVinci Code that mass consciousness got a glimpse of her real identity. Mary Magdalene was most likely a high priestess, the wife of Jesus, and his equal in all ways. As with all the Divine Couples of ancient lore, they stood as equals. Just like her beloved, she knew she would be scorned, betrayed and eventually written out of her co-creation with Christ. It was part of the Human Evolutionary Plan. And now that chapter is coming to a close. It is time for Divine Partnership again. The thousand years of peace that have been prophesized and promised will come when the balance of the masculine and the feminine are again in harmony. The Time of Sacred Union is upon us.
The task now is for women and men to take the masculine off the cross. We know it may seem easier and safer to keep him up there where he can’t cause more trouble and we can keep an eye on him, however, he has served his time being the bad guy, the perpetrator, the martyr, and the scapegoat for the world’s woes. He wants to be awake, conscious, alive and free. He has an important job to do and he can’t do it when he is nailed up there! It is also time for the old crusty oppressive father god archetype to die a peaceful death and for the new healthy masculine to be born in all of us. His image is somewhat formed by what we consider the more supportive values of peacefulness, cooperation, non-judgment, emotional support and safety, but there is more. Think of the Spiritual Warrior, one who shows up, and really listens to what is called for and needed, and is ready to stand as an ally with the feminine and the planet.
Men and Women have an inner patriarch that is just as problematic for us as the outer one in the world. Those of us that are evolved enough to care are ready for a new healthy version of the masculine, and many of us have already birthed him. He needs encouragement, and what he does not need is the blame of the feminine. It is time for women to stop the cycle of abuse that involves making men pay. It can be so easy to keep going into male-bashing, but when women acknowledge that there is an inner bully in them that keeps them from their own power, the bigger picture is obvious. The feminine in all of us needs to release her fear and resentment, and we all need to change. Men need the support of women to keep doing the best they can. The masculine within and without needs our love and our acknowledgement for what he does well. Without the masculine, the feminine is not safe. And, when she doesn’t feel safe, she cannot fully be her power.
We can return to more integrated values on our planet, and the masculine needs to be invited to return home to a place of honor beside women. It is the brilliant light of the masculine that will pierce delusion and guide us into this next phase of human evolution.
Baba Dez Nichols is a transformational guide and Daka trained in the sacred sexual healing arts. It is his path and honor to support others on their journey, deepen in their truth and power, find enjoyment in transformation, and bring in beneficial grounded results.
Baba Dez P.O. Box 3054 Sedona, AZ 86340
Anyaa McAndrew is a shamanic~transpersonal psychotherapist, Dakini and High Priestess residing in Western NC.